How quickly can life change?

May 24, 2020 will go down as one of my most remembered days ever. Not because of a birth or death. Unless you consider the news of the day as being the end of a life once considered mostly normal. I didn't know what to expect. I made sure to hug my boys a little extra tighter that day. Breaking news to my 20 year old was gut wrenching. Telling my 8 year old that Mommy is really sick was hard - I looked the same way as when I had that morning. I know it had to be confusing.

I've had migraine headaches for as long as I can remember. If I had to say when the true symptoms of a brain tumor began I would have to truthfully tell you I don't know. After we started working from home in March (2020), I really started to pay attention to some alarming things. I as stumbling both up and down the stairs in our home. I found that when I spoke I had a slur, and oftentimes I found it very difficult to concentrate or complete thoughts. I started making mistakes on data at work and in my line of work, you cannot afford to mess up - numbers matter.

After a trip to our onsite nurse practitioner and telling her about the numerous symptoms, she was concerned for a few things and determined the first course of action was to have a brain MRI. Long story short is, this is how the tumor was found.

I met my Neurosurgeon that day and this is when I found out I had a Tectal Plate glioma. Because of the location of the tumor, it was deemed inoperable itself, but surgery was necessary to alter the flow of CSF (Cerebral Spinal Fluid) from my brain. This is what was causing all of the symptoms and it was dangerously high. After looking over my case, he deemed me as being stable and we had a plan of action. I was on Diamox and a fluid pill for a couple weeks while we waited on the pressure on my brain to decrease to make surgery safer.

On June 24, I had surgery where a VP Shunt was placed to divert the CSF and reduce the hydrocephalus.

I wish I could say life was just hunky dory after that, but that'd be an outright untruth. While I was in TICU on June 25, I found out my Mom died en-route to the hospital. The day after I was released from hospital, I attended her funeral. Life has been challenging in ways I never thought it would be. But, there is a silver lining - the tumor is benign. My next scan is coming up in April. I'm praying for good news so that I can keep living a pretty normal life.

I guess saying all this to say - LISTEN to your body and the symptoms it shows you. Don't put something off that is actually a red flag for a more serious underlying issue.

I intend to fight until my dying breath. I never want you to believe that I just gave up - on myself or on us. I really need my family to know how much I love them. Letting go and saying goodbye is so difficult, but it isn't impossible to continue to let time and God heal you. I hope that when you see a sunset you remember me. I know life isn't easy. Lord knows we've had our share of pretty hard blows. But, just think how far we've come. Never in my life would I have thought that I'd meet my soul mate or have the love of two kids like the ones we've been blessed with.

Mark, you have been a wonderful husband and the love you've shown me has sustained me over the years we've shared together. Always pursue tomorrow and the best for you and the boys.

Harley, you are talented beyond words. My wish for you is that you pursue your art. When you draw, paint and express yourself through your art, you light up from the inside.

Joshua, stay the loving and sweet boy that you are. Keep your heart open to others and never let go of the light inside you.